But My Neighbors Are Wildly Successful

Really? Are you sure about that? What are you using to make that judgment? Is it the same yardstick that they used to measure their own success? Are you sure they asked themselves the age-old question, what is success.

While writing my book, Uneducated, I interviewed many people, who, on the surface, seemed successful. But it was enlightening to see how many of them did not look at it that way, despite having accumulated a significant amount of wealth—which most people use as the yardstick.

When asked why they did not consider themselves as successes, they said, because they hadn’t achieved what they wanted. Most mentioned a stable, happy life. Some wished for even more wealth. And others still desired other non-material achievements. But almost all of them were not where they thought they would be when they began their journey.

Comparisons Are Never Good

I’m going to do something now that I have always told my wife and kids never to do—compare your life situation with someone else’s. I have told them that because even though things may look wonderful on the outside, you never know what’s behind door number three, so to speak. But in this case, I do know, so I’ll do the comparison.

Since many people can only make comparisons by analyzing charts, we’ll use the following table to find out ‘what is success’.

You might think I selected the most bleak prospects, but I didn’t. Some were far worse. Most were disappointed by the impact of attempting to be their original conceived version of success had on family life. Seven of the ten people I spoke with were either divorced or thinking of it, and none of them (when pressed) felt that they had a good relationship with their kids.

Compare that with my nephew, who comes home every night to his wife (a wonderful woman) and his three kids (magnificent, happy kids). He eats dinner with them seven days a week, builds things in the back yard with them, plays with them, and drives them over twice a week to visit their grandmother. I don’t know if I could make up a story as good as that. I wouldn’t put it in one of my books because people wouldn’t believe me.

By the way, he has two almost-new cars, three iPads, three iPhones, and the family goes out to eat once a week. And their 3,000 square foot house is almost paid for. And he’s not alone. I dedicated my book to my nephew and my youngest son. I’ll be doing a post about him in the near future. The next time someone asks, what is success, don’t be so quick to answer.